Illustration & Art Personal Statement Example

I think this is an ok ps, not bad but i do have a few suggestions on how to improve, the structure could be more rigid, it doesn't seem to flow properly, and there is no mention of east asian ostrich migration, whats that all about??? sort out ur life!!

i found this very moving as an artist my self i found an insite in to your mind very helpfull its honist and trueful and i hope that were ever you end up i hope your happy

the work experiences are largely not related to the subject for which the statement has been written. the writing style is long winding which may distract a busy selector's attention.

The statement is not THAT BAD, however it can be improved. For example by starting sentences with anything other than 'I', especially the first sentence which really needs to create much more of an impact, for a great statement. Also, including information, which can be found in other parts of the application is classic schoolboy error and should be avoided. Hence the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs need to go. The other parts are fine though, and by the way it's not your work experience does not need to be related to your course. You just need to be able demonstrate what you've got from it.

on visiting an art school open day, they specifically say in our personal state ments not to put or ever be tempted to write "from an early age i have always done art" etc as about 95% of the application forms they recieve now, start with that. and it has since become an absolute turn off.

to be honest, i think this reads like a badly written story as opposed to an interesting personal statement

This is an invaluable lesson on how NOT to write your personal statement. Boring, unispiring and cliche ridden!

your an artist.....use ur creativity to good effect

Way too clichéd. I am writing one right now and it didnt help me much at all im afraid. Apart from not to use that opening line. I am not reading thousands of these a year and i still hated the way you started...

the beginning makes this ps sound like a five year olds essay on their life! DON'T DO THIS!

I quiet enjoyed reading your personal statment. As a fellow artist, and high school student. I have before encorperated my artistic backround into my statments in the past. And its is a plus, being able to write a creative peice, using your artistic talents. But unfortuantly, if your planning to sending this to apply for college.

Your going to need to consider who its going to. Or who's going to be reading your statment. Sometimes being creative, is not always the best choice. I never said it was wrong to be different. Its always great to pull the reader in threw a intresting beginning. And keep it strong threw your paper. My advice to you, in this statment make sure your resoning for your appliance is clear and concice. Make sure your resons aren't jumbled in with your creativeness. Follow threw with repetition. And most importantly, make yourself look good. What do you have to offer? What are your talents? ext. Your on a good start, your future is bright.

the majority of people whom have commented on this statement obviously haven`t heard of constructive critisism. i believe this statement is good for a first attempt.

i think that this was a good start, better than what i have so far...its mainly just bullet points of the info i know i need =S

i think out of all the essays and assignments ive had to do this is the hardest piece of writing to get through without deleting paragraph after paragraph and sounding stupid or cheesy!

im going to attempt to carry on with mine so wish me luck n good luck to everyone else!

I think this personal statement is very inspiring, im having to write one for a a foundation course which involves illustration as my personal intrest too, and i didnt know what the hell to write about, but youve helped me to consider some mager points, thankyou!

The personal statment may be too obvious about her likes and interests, but its that what the universities of art and design are looking for?

There is a lot of important information about the person. How they work, what inspires them, why the course is right for them, the books the person has used for previous work,also, about her outside activities, e.g her job.

Personaly i think you are being negative about this statment, i love how personal it is, its more or a biography, than a formal statment. Surely thats different?

As an art student myself this was a pretty poor personal statement, you don't need to write about how you have worked in a bakery or at the vets as it is not relevant to the subject you are applying for. Also the guide within this website say's you shouldn't put 'I' everywhere and this is what exactly what this person has done. Who ever gave it three stars is a 'tit'!

oh my god... that last person has serious issues- did they actually sit and write out the word all that many times, or was it copy and paste frenzy? Either way,they're massive hypocrytes and pretty stupid.
I actually quite like your statement and want to do practically the same course as you, so it will be pretty helpful. I share quite a bit of your arty likes and styles. THANKYOU and GOOD LUCK. Ignore the retards.:-)

The jobs are listed because they show social interaction on the part of the student. If the course required the use of team work then that information would be necessary for the University to make a decision based on the statement. However, like the previous comments, it would be better to list these if they were more Art related. The opening statement is a tad overused though, it sounds like a speech from Pop Idol.

i'd love to see all of your 'perfect personal statements' seems as this one is supposedly so crap.

I like you`re statement on art.It was very interesting and detailed.

I agree with some of the comments below. You should definitely check the grammar, for example "childs" should be "child's".

calm down guys, this personal statement is not that bad at all and you have all blatently came on for advice as you are having trouble writing yours!
we say post yours and we will see how amazing you all are!
Peace out x

this statment is well written but has some unrequired information. such as the books this person likes,unnecessary information.
plus it seems like this person is trying to hard. well written but should be more from th heart instead of winning the addmissions person over. tut tut!!

AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW that hurt

OOWWWWWW frodo, your hurting me!!

When i told you to destroy the ring!!

seriously the ps wernt that bad, it just went on a bit, like with the bakers job thing, most of the criticisms are based on ur opening line, change that n it shudnt b that bad xxxxxx

Hey, just to let you know that this personal statement really helped me, although i plan to do fashion management, art and design is the subject i enjoyed most at school, so therefore planned to write about that.

One suggestion, don't write about your grades, because the people who are reading your personal statement already have a copy of your grades.

Altogether i thought that it wasn't all that bad. Thank you for youe help.

Hey, just to let you know that this personal statement really helped me, although i plan to do fashion management, art and design is the subject i enjoyed most at school, so therefore planned to write about that.

One suggestion, don't write about your grades, because the people who are reading your personal statement already have a copy of your grades.

Altogether i thought that it wasn't all that bad. Thank you for your help.

Writing an original personal statement is impossible.

I have to say- I found the first paragraph about your childhood creativity quite touching, though thanks to some of the useful critique I now know this isn't a good starting point.
Thanks for posting this, it's been insightful and the comments have given me a bit of an idea of what is and isn't needed in a Personal Statement!

Put off by the first phrase- shows how little you actually know. Poor.

First of all I would like to say thanks for sharing. It may not be the most perfect personal statement ever, but I know I couldn't do any better (why else would I, or anyone else who's commented, be lurking on this site?) I think some people are being a little under appreciative here.

It's true that maybe not all the infomation you provided was completely relevant, and it's not the most inspirational piece I've ever read, but as an art student interested in illustration I can really see where you're coming from. I guess all the nostalgic crap at the beginning kinda touched me, 'cuz I was exactly the same when I was younger. I think you really got the most important message across in this - and that's just how passionate you are about art.

fabulous!!

The problem with your personal statement is that it sounds really childish. Work on making it more precise and don't make so many general points but take around 5 key points that you want to put across and tell me more about them. - (Why you have chosen to put them in)

I thought this personal statement gave a true reflection of the person and made someone like me, who doesnt know the person, have a clear insight into her personality and why she wants to study art, the only thing i would have done differently is included more hobbies!

i completly agree with the previous comment, using the 'i've always wanted to do this' is such a cliche and i doubt that the people reading it will be excited by this...

Well, I've read the statement as well as the many compliments and criticisms- mostly that. I don't think it's the best no, but I've now got confidence that my personal statement will be decent. :D

OMG!! i am very angry at the moment. THE MOST WORDS and SENTANCES THAT R USED IN THIS STATEMENT ARE FROM MY STATEMEN. I INSIST TO KNOW WHO IS THIS PERSON WHO COPIED MY PERSONAL STATMENT AND FROM WHERE DID THEY COPIED IT FROM!!!!! THANK YOU

then it sounds like you ^ need to rewrite your statement anyway

i went to runshaw college, haha.
i dont think the start of this personal statemnt gives off any personality, to me it just sounds a bit mechanical. i guess its what unis want to hear, but to me it doesn't feel very personal.

...sounding too crude, this litterally is the worst personal statement i have encountered. Repetitions of 'I's' and boring non inspiering narrative of a mundane life! I mean lets be honest, does he/she really really enjoy working for a baker? and reading To Kill A Mokingbird? (which may i remind everyone was probebly only thrown in there as its a standard book to read for GCSE so they might know alot about it if the book gets brought up in the interveiw) these manarisms can only be related to that of Lisa Simpson from The Simpsons, id rather eat my own foot then believe this is a 5 star rated piece of nonsense

looking at this personal statement i feel greatfull that i happend to stumble across it
it had provided me with the bare essentials for my own personal statement and i am proud to say it helpd me to write what was described as outstanding.
thanks you so much for the help!!
xx

I thought the statement showed the passion for the subject but slightly struggled to find discussion points and to present them in an original or imaginative way. I think the childhood reminiscing should have been kept to a strict minimum, unless you wanted to lead on to a more relevant and more imaginative point.

I don't mean to bring this personal statement down, but its been rated 4 stars and yet it completely defies some of the rules provided by this site on what not to write in a personal statement.

One for example: 'Do not repeat what has already been written in your UCAS form'

This person, as good as it's written, has said on more than one occasion what they got in GCSE and so on.

i was wondering if you got in to your course :) by the way i think it was quite good ,better than me anyway.....

i was just wondering why alot of the comments are quite mean? I think its nice that you posted your personal statement to help out others with there's, if they are having trouble. id also like to add WOOOW some of you art students arnt very nice people judging from your rude and sometimes offensive comments, and id like to see if half of you could do better.

the feedback in the comments section has been more helpful here than anything else.

I love the fact that someone said:

"Check your grammar, it should be vetinary practice, not practise. i.e the noun not the verb".

Perhaps you should check your own spelling. Instead of 'vetinary', maybe you should write 'veterinary' i.e. the correct spelling and not the made-up one!

I do find this personal statement useful. However I can't help but notice that this person has spent a large portion of their statement writing about what results they have recieved in exams. This is, unfortunately, redundant information as this is what the other sections of a UCAS form are for. Mentioning them in context is advisable, for example in reference to what one has learned whilst doing the course, rather than just reeling them off as a list of achievements. On a lighter note, this person has showed great enthusiasm for what they wish to do. Possibly not in the most mature or original way, but it is an example to follow all the same. I hope this comment is useful to others in my position, unlike half of the drivel written above.

Many of the people who have commented, expressing how they feel towards this PS intend to go to University, yet cannot spell. Good luck with that!