In today's world, everyone is a philosopher. How can one not be, with an intake of information greater than any previous generation?
We are bombarded with words and ideas, pictures and concepts. This data has rarely been publicly questioned in centuries past yet today the media compels everyone to ask the question: why? And I am no different...
Psychology Personal Statement Example 3
Thousands have tried to make their personal statement, witty and exciting, but have failed to make the grade.
Again and again admissions tutors have bowed their heads in disappointment in not finding that special something needed to make it different from everyone else's. But there will be one, just one who will stand out from the crowd; one personal statement will be so amazing and spectacular that all the universities across the land will want this person in their university.
As Thomas Edison said "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." But even Thomas Edison made fantastic discoveries, which changed his life and this world forever, and by reading this personal statement you are doing the same.
Having thoroughly enjoyed the study of Music, Law and Psychology, I have decided to study Psychology at university.
My interests in this subject first came about when I achieved my first work experience in a primary school, and also doing other work experiences in holiday clubs. I then decided to do Psychology as an AS level in my 2nd year of A levels, so I can broaden my knowledge of the subject and confirm that Psychology was the right degree to study at university.
Since studying Psychology at greater depth at AS level, I have gained a much greater understanding in which Psychology affects human society.
Our expanding knowledge of Psychology has given us insight into the ways in which we live, work and socialise in the modern world. Psychologists to date have given us answers about the human mind, which have influenced us in the way we present ourselves in human society, in which I consider it to be truly the "social science of society".
I keep myself aware of all the developments in Psychology and particularly child Psychology, by reading such publications as Psychology Review, which looks at demystifying Psychology, Psychologists experiments and updates on their research and an exam column for help with exam techniques, as well as using the Internet to broaden my knowledge of the subject.
Over the years I have been involved in a range of different work experiences. The first placement I was involved in was in 2000, where I was working in a reception class at Kingsley Primary School for 2 weeks.
I had various responsibilities where I had to supervise a group of 3-5 children whilst they participated in various activities such as Snakes and Ladders, which teaches them about Maths, being 1st 2nd and 3rd in the game. I had to supervise in other year group activities such as assembly, break and lunch times.
I also helped the teacher set up the classroom in the morning and at the end of lunch to get ready for the morning and afternoons activities.
It was a very rewarding experience and through it I gained valuable skills, I learned to be more patient and more creative, also learning to organise and handle a group of 4-5 year olds (which is not an easy task!)
Currently I have a part-time job at a busy supermarket, which has enabled me to work and deal with a diverse range of people and it also gives me some financial independence.
At college I am a member of the schools music committee and I'm a member of the multi-cultural committee.
Within these roles I have to help co-ordinate, the "international evening with the mayor" which is an evening of music, dance, history and drama from around the world, as well as putting on different events on throughout the year.
In the music committee, I am the sixth-form assistant, in which I help co-ordinate junior orchestra. I also play the flute so I also perform in a number of concerts and soirees such as, the Christmas concert and the joint concert with the John Fisher Choir, which is also performed at Fairfield Halls.
I find these roles to be extremely rewarding as they develop my teamwork and interpersonal skills as well as demonstrating my ability to handle responsibility.
Outside of college I like to keep fit by cycling everyday after college. I also belong to a youth group in which we do various exciting activities such as bowling and going on camping weekends.
Some people dream of worthy accomplishments, whilst others stay awake and achieve them. “
You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say 'Why not?'” George Bernard Shaw. It is with this determination to succeed and a keen interest in the subject that I approach this degree.
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I have to say i'm not too
Fri, 17/09/2004 - 00:00
I have to say i'm not too keen on the opening paragraph, but i do like your closing one!
My thoughts
Wed, 29/09/2004 - 00:00
I think you are trying too hard and the opening paragraph ws painful for me to read. It could have worked but it definitely doesnt for you, Also quoting GBS at the end proves nothing except you are an unoriginal proust
hmm
Mon, 11/10/2004 - 00:00
Your beginning is just awful - professors WILL literally shake their heads at that. The entire thing also sounds really arrogant, it's over the top to be honest. You'll need to work on the last paragraph too I think, just tone it down.
sorry,but your are just
Mon, 22/11/2004 - 00:00
sorry,but your are just trying to me too smart and in my opinion you just sound so arrogant and instead of sounding smart you just sound like a fool!
Chop out the whole first
Mon, 22/08/2005 - 00:00
Chop out the whole first paragraph, it is wasting space! You should fill it with things about you, not about why this PS will be good....or not. Try to use ONE attention grabbing sentence to introduce the greatness of this PS and then write about YOU.
Get rid of the opening and
Wed, 14/09/2005 - 00:00
Get rid of the opening and closing paragraphs, the statment should be about you not about how you can quote, and the opening paragraph is setting the statment up to be amazing and although it is good, it is not amazing. the o.p just sounds big headed and arrogant.
i like your ending paragraph
Mon, 19/09/2005 - 00:00
i like your ending paragraph but will the universities be that enthusiastic about the rest of your statement to make it to the end?
*sighs*
Thu, 06/10/2005 - 00:00
that was truely awful...especially the first paragraph... theyd be more likley to hit you then shake your hand.
Excellent
Mon, 10/10/2005 - 00:00
It reminds me of my own passionate form of writing. Congratualtions and I hope you are achieve the goals you set for yourself.
Nice
Mon, 10/10/2005 - 00:00
You are supposed to sell yourself to universities and that's exactly what you're doing. I think it's unique. This is definetely not a time to be modest. Think how many people are on the same game. You have to stand out. How many people have somewhat put down your personal statement -the majority until me! Well all those that think the same are probably the ones that write the same crap that universities are tired of reading!
I cringed at that first
Thu, 13/10/2005 - 00:00
I cringed at that first paragraph! Sounds a bit pretentious. Dont mean to discourage you, but i would get rid of that.
I wasn't sure about the
Mon, 07/11/2005 - 00:00
I wasn't sure about the opening paragraph but the rest was good. By the way i went to kingsley primary school too!!!
The begining sounds really
Mon, 19/06/2006 - 00:00
The begining sounds really pompous
The beginning promises lots,
Sun, 17/09/2006 - 00:00
The beginning promises lots, which then sadly is not delivered at all.
sorry but i think this
Wed, 27/09/2006 - 14:19
sorry but i think this personal statement is just too over the top, particularly the first paragraph. it is true that everyones personal statement probably sounds the same but thats highlly likely since admissions have to read so many!
great ending
Mon, 09/10/2006 - 22:46
love the ending arrogance is not a flaw but a strength if used as such, its good to have a belief in what you say the beginning rambles a bit thomas edison bit is good also
The beginning seems too
Wed, 11/10/2006 - 10:23
The beginning seems too informal. It catches your attention but there isreally no need to come off that arrogant.
AMAZING
Wed, 18/10/2006 - 13:15
More of the first paragraph! I am actually an admissions tutor, and I accepted you after just three sentences.
What is everyone talking about?????
Sat, 21/10/2006 - 08:09
Whatever ANYONE says I love your opening paragraph! It's very original and daring,not just some ''i like psychology from a young age''or ''i have keen interest in the human mind''.. It is something FAR more interesting than that and the fact that you used quotes just shows that you put effort into your personal statement! I don't see what everyone is talking about, I loved it and hope you got into the University you wanted to.
the statement is supposed to
Thu, 08/03/2007 - 14:47
the statement is supposed to be a *personal* statement, not a self-referent statement.
You have to get the right
Fri, 22/06/2007 - 09:07
You have to get the right balance between sounding brilliant and arrogant, I think that some of your statement did come off as arrogant. You're either going to get a lot of acceptances or a lot of rejections.
the first paragraph is a
Tue, 14/08/2007 - 12:10
the first paragraph is a waste of precious words that could be used to further emphasise why you want to do Psychology.
my god. i think this has to
Fri, 14/09/2007 - 19:54
my god. i think this has to be the worst personal statement i've ever read. and i've read quite a few. unfortunately. sorry!
JAM
Tue, 18/09/2007 - 22:36
Why the hell are all u fools in here,critizing peoles'work.If u r so clever then why the hell are you here?
uncertainty
Sat, 22/09/2007 - 17:23
I'm not sure what to make of it. I think a lot of people may be looking at this the wrong way. If the first paragraph was meant as a humorous introduction, it works because it is just that little bit over the top. However it IS too long, and most admission tutors will not read this until the end.
a few points that u should consider
Tue, 02/10/2007 - 12:30
get rid of the first and last paragraph, it just shows that you are waffling on because you havent got much to write. get your statement checked out by your parents or college.
OMG
Tue, 09/10/2007 - 13:30
i can honestly say that i was bored throughout that. However it was an interesting and powerful ending. Dont blab about crap, its not gd ;(
omg that first statement. the
Tue, 16/10/2007 - 17:08
omg that first statement. the most overused inventors quote in the world and how patronising for that poor admissions tutor, i would have hated you
OTT
Thu, 01/11/2007 - 12:21
OTT
CRINGE!!!!!
Mon, 05/11/2007 - 09:55
CRINGE!!!!!
think you need to rewrite this one..
i got a bit bored in the
Mon, 19/11/2007 - 10:00
i got a bit bored in the second and third paragprahs...you should try not to go on as much.
Wonderful
Mon, 19/11/2007 - 20:04
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
I am a professor of philosophy at Oxford, and this is the exact type o PS we want to see. Admittedly, the content did sag after the first paragraph, and had the entire PS been written in the same tone I, and my colleagues, would have been delighted to have had such an extraordianry student enrolled. Bravo! xxx
perfect
Mon, 30/06/2008 - 13:32
the first paragraphe is a bit too ... hmmm... too pushy but all the rest is excellent.
This is terrible. You come
Thu, 17/07/2008 - 18:34
This is terrible. You come across as arrogant, condescending, egocentric, supercilious....the list goes on. Start again.
It's not the intro that's wrong...
Sat, 30/08/2008 - 15:42
Alot of people here are saying you're arrogant for your opening paragraph, yet it would be a perfectly acceptable introduction if only you could back it up with the "life changing" personal statement you promised.
While the beginning does indeed catch the eye in being something different, it does not deliver on its promise as the rest actually is just another bog-standard personal statement.
I think if it could live up to its introduction, your statement would be excellent, but admissions tutors will not be impressed by your demonstration that you aren't as good as you think you are.
Being an Admissions Officer
Thu, 11/09/2008 - 20:45
Being an Admissions Officer for the University of Cambridge I believe the opening sentence is unique.
But what is unique? Is it good? Is it bad? In this case, you fail to get across your compassion; your stelgrata (if that makes any sense).
To be honest, I would take the EDISON quote away - and good luck.
Ur not suppose 2 use famous
Wed, 01/10/2008 - 11:49
Ur not suppose 2 use famous quotes in ur personal statement
'you're not allowed to use famous quotes'
Fri, 03/10/2008 - 20:32
that is an utter lie!!! who ever said that??
I assume this statement is a
Mon, 06/10/2008 - 15:12
I assume this statement is a joke. If not i recommend you spend some time researching Narcissistic Personality Disorder; it might be of some personal interest to you.
A MASTERPIECE
Wed, 08/10/2008 - 14:42
I am lost for words. This PS is the best thing i have seen since brown bread. U should win an award mate.
im just going to take a wild
Thu, 09/10/2008 - 21:40
im just going to take a wild guess and presume that this statement did not yield any offers from red-brick universities?
Over the top, not to be mean
Fri, 21/11/2008 - 17:42
Over the top, not to be mean but you don't deliver at all, you sound too cocky and arrogant and the only time you mention psychology is when you're chattin on bout what you're studying.
You should mention WHY you love it so much etc
Btw, the people who reckon they're tutors from Oxford and Cambridge - are you shite! You well know this person or are just being nice! If you really are tutors there I'll eat my hat! (Or maybe this personal statement - and save the rest of the world from ever having to read it!)
0.o
Tue, 13/01/2009 - 12:02
Well I have to say that if you got into your uni with this, you were extremely lucky.
I think it is a really good
Thu, 01/10/2009 - 16:29
I think it is a really good personal statement, however it sounds like your applying for a course to study Philosophy more than Psychology. Yeah we can all tell your great with finding famous quotes, but how does this relate to your passion for Psychology?
(Y)
Wed, 07/10/2009 - 16:25
i realy like it
well done lad :)
RFP
What is the point of the
Tue, 20/10/2009 - 09:59
What is the point of the first paragraph, I think you are trying too hard to be unique and it sounds very arrogant to me.
The first paragraph doesn't sound like a personal statement
the first parargraph it
Thu, 19/11/2009 - 18:14
the first parargraph it absolutely useless, it is meant to be about wht th ourse will offer you and why they will want you for their course! they already know how many personal statemnts fail, they are the ones reading them!
talk about big head!! lol
Fri, 01/10/2010 - 19:55
talk about big head!! lol
rest is good
youre a joker
Wed, 06/10/2010 - 12:02
youre a joker
The first paragraph is
Fri, 15/10/2010 - 13:05
The first paragraph is definately unusual but not in a good way...but who knows when it comes to admissions :)
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