Law Personal Statement Example 1

I think you deserved a place with all the Uni's you applied for. Its a good personal statement. A lot of positive points you've made. You clearly have a dedication for the subject.

Anyone who takes part in karate knows that blackbelt is not the highest standard, and you certainly couldnt reach the highest standard possible in 10 years. I find it very hard to believe you actually took part in this activity so i question some of your other claims.

This personal statement sounds as if you have totally stereotyped yourself and told the admissions tutors what you thought they wanted to hear. If you had been yourself and been more truthfull you may have had an offer made from the other universities.
They do read personal statements all day everyday as a job, so they can smell a desperate liar a mile off.

This is a good effort for a personal statement. you seem to have shown some your skills and qualities, but it doesnt seem like you've shown enough about yourself.

I think this person has put a lot of effort into this staement and deserves success in the future, well done.

go to reading mate reading is heavy

you do not need a law degree to become a solicitor, a CPE can be undertaken after completing a degree in any other subject..

I think this personal statement is excellent and has highlighted a lot of important details

is there any need for these rude comments? im applying for a law degree and ive done most of the things he has!!!! including the solicitors and YE!

If you have reached a grade that high in karate in your somewhat short life then i am the angel of the north.

.....'From my experiences thus far, I feel that I would be greatly suited to university life. I am confident the social and academic lifestyle at university would allow me to develop as a person.'

this quote has been on many personal statements before... seems like a copy paste job from a medical statement I have seen!!!

You are clearly very talented and have many achievements like head boy, excellent GCSEs, a black belt in karate (though black belt is not the highest grade as i have one and know there are at least 8 kinds you can get depending what form of karate you do!). Its a shame the universities did not recognise your talents. You would have benefited if it were written better with more form and structure

This statement is very well written...mmm I like it alot!

i think its good, but perhaps too good!!? you sound very intelligent however i also find you seem very intimidating! sorry but the others are right, you are just telling them everything they want to hear!

It's alright, some words are used incorrectly/inaccurately, examples being:
1. "the ambience of a courtroom" - I'm sorry, but what? Are you kidding me? I know you want to be a lawyer and everything, but get over it.
2. " a law degree will significantly aid me to achieve this goal." - This doesn't sound like fluid, fluent English. Sorry.

Also, another flaw is justifying your desire to study English by your ambition to be a lawyer. Most courses at the top universities, the kinds you applied for, teach Law in a more theoretical, academic manner. Therefore they'd rather applicants be interested in the development/reasoning/workings of the law first and foremost, rather than pursuing a law degree in order to become a lawyer. Indeed, many students read Law to satisfy and challenge them academically, and go on to find a career in other fields. So yeah. Not a good idea to repeatedly reinforce the fact that reading Law at uni will help you to become a lawyer.

I also feel that you shouldn't have discussed the case you saw in court so thoroughly, it's kind of unneccessary. They'd rather read about you than some random case where you just sound like you're showing off. Also, you gave such a brief, fragmented description of the case which won't help them learn anything about you, it was a waste of words. You should have spoken about yourself more, perhaps, in an academic capacity. Why you enjoy your subjects (all of them), why you chose them, what you've learnt from your studies (relevant stuff) etc. Also, don't put random sentences floating in the air, like this: "and have found the depiction of the Victorian legal system of particular interest." - It's nice that you enjoy a Dickens book, but then, so does everyone. Explain WHY you found the depiction interesting, etc.

Okay, apologies for being so harsh, and also apologies for talking to the author of the PS in the present tense, when he's over and done with the application process now. Hope I helped other people looking to write their personal statement. It's a good statement otherwise, and congrats to the author for getting into Ex and Reading :)

in my opinion this persoanl statement is very good as it does tell the dmissions tutors what they need to hear and surely that is the aim of a statement. it is relevant!

This is a good personal statement - and kudos on getting into reading and exeter. However, if i were to criticise, it'd be solely on your focussing on personal acheivements. A fundamental part of a personal statement is the passion you have for the subject, and why you feel it would be suited to you - as a person, not because of what you've done. However, it does give a lot of good points and it has clearly been worked upon - a little more structure, and focus on key areas, and i dare say nottingham, warwick and Oxford would have jumped at the chance of having you.

Hey, there are sum parts of this personal stements that i like and i appreciate how much effort this person may have put in to it. But to me, they tied a bit too hard to impress, resutling in the statement sounding unnatural in parts. Just be your self!

I am sorry but I do not believe this statement deserves praise. Firstly, after attempting to digest this lengthly and heavy matter...I saw it could not be done, alongside with the inconsistent english. One wrong english sentence and thats it for Oxford, and you made many more than just one. It was more than clear to me that although you may really want to be a solicitor, you have purposely tried to impress the universities with a great sense of unorginality in your approach. My parents are both lawyers and both said they would feel ill if one lamented about the 'ambience' of a courtroom, when really knowing nothing about law at all! Try to have expanded on other interests. Be truthful. You did not read Dickens because of his portrayal of a courtroom. Did you even go past your first draft?

I find this ps very interesting, and it serves a very gd example for me.... I find very interesting the fact that this person uses past experiences with the subject! Even though I don't have any past experiences, I think that I will benefit from this statement.... Thank you!!!!

I think some of the comments here are really very harsh. Whatever happened to support and guidance? Everyone is in the 'lottery' that is university selection together - the lack of empathy is shocking. Personal statement review is not a competition to find out how YOU would have done it better (of course!) This person was from a 6th form technology college (therefore being among a very large student population, perhaps not having access to a significant amount of extra help & guidance with their PS). Plus, this person was obviously on track for straight As indicated by the fact that they got good GCSEs and applied for the ever-popular Law at top unis; they couldn't have been that dense! Stating that this person is a "desperate liar" is completely out of order. University admissions tutors are not God. They cannot "spot a desperate liar a mile off", at least not in this statement, as there is nothing to indicate that this person has lied (if it's possible for Wayne Rooney to be accepted onto the England team at such a young age, then I'm sure its possible for someone with talent and motivation to have obtained a black belt in Karate).
And finally to the person who rather boastfully asserted that "my parents are both lawyers" and that their parents were disgusted or whatever by the use of the word "ambience": you sound exactly like all the other over-zealous, psuedo-intellectual brats that saturate private schools up and down the country (believe me, I go to private school so I should know, though I do not conform to the stereotype, nor, as a result of my parents' professions, think that I am qualified to dish out patronising, self-opinionated bile to other people on a regular basis). People have a right to apply wherever they want, and at least people like this guy are a refreshing alternative to all the clones quoting Jean-Paul Satre and the like, vying for a place at Oxbridge. I concede that this personal statement has faults, but constructive criticism is all that is needed.

Another thing - it quite clearly states that Dickens was being read as part of this person's Eng Lit course, and whilst reading it, found the depiction of the Victorian legal system to be of interest. No-one in their right mind would say on their PS that they picked up Dickens "because" of this.

And... if it was such a labourious and difficult task to "digest such a lengthly and heavy matter" (sounds like THAT one was lifted from a book), why do you go on to contradict yourself by basically saying that it was crap?

To 'smoke grass and chill out' , it is interesting that you would refer to me as a pompous private school brat, when in fact I live way outside of england and go to an international school.
and the statement really was ingenuine, thats the truth. i feel bad for him as i honestly believe he did deserve those places, i just am not surprised he was rejected.
and have you ever been inside a REAL courtroom? i think not.

and take your own advice

I looked at this PS while writing my own. I thought that the structure could've done with a little extra attention, and that there was too much irrelevant information in the essay, and not enough about the author. Apart from that it is a good PS, as it is to the point and holds most of this information that the administrators are looking for. I does seem a bit braggy, but excentuating your positive points is never a bad thing, aslong as you dont get too cocky. I found a lot of the comments more helpful than the actual PS itself, especially the comment from "Alana, 18/f" thank you. Thank you to every one who helped me write my PS, and I will hopefully be posting my PS on here if I get into uni.

Indeed, It was very stupid of you to write "highest grade blackbelt" --- anyone who does martial arts can tell that this is a huge exageration of truth (if not a lie).

im sorry u diddint get offered:]

u should of posted ure personal statement on myspace that way u would of been offered:]
just an opinion :]
kbye

well i think that its a really good personal statemnt and iv jus started to write my own and its helped me but i havent got much 2 writee in it Hmm.. lol

The information behind the statement is great, i think the way its been written has just maybe portrayed the person not so well.
And maybe the places who didn't give offers were based on other factors such as predicted grades?
I've nearly written my personal statement, but i've found the comments on here really useful as tips so thanks :]

is this guy for real....? i stronbgly believe in being yourself butthis guy proves to be a complete fake or a dude with nolife.

lets be real people

amazing personal statement! :) Cant believe you didnt get an offer from Bristol!

This PS is ok I guess but you don't really talk about why you want to study law except for saying cos you want to eb a lawyer.... I think if you'd spoken more about why you want to study it you probably would've got more offers.

I have two words for this loser-
tee ripe

1 Star. This sucks, and so do you.

i've certianly read worse personal statements and feel this is actually quite effective.
2 offers is still good!!!
sure there are things that not everyone would've put and some people would've adapted a different style...
but back off.
there's no need to be rude!!
it's not your place to judge.
Good Luck in the future mate, i hope you make it.

damn i've just started my P.S, read this example & seemed extremely impressive... but some comments been v.helpful & given insight into how hard this is gonna be.

not impressed by sum of the deconstructive criticism love 2 meet u ppl in real life & see if u have the balls to be as confrontaional & spiteful.

grow up.

Clearly the author is very intelligent, and has a lot to offer prospective universities.

However, the statement does read as though it was written by an, albeit intelligent, academic robot.
Although personal achievements were listed, the statement lacked the "Personal touch" neccessary. There was also not enough focus on law as an academic discipline, rather than a career ladder.

Still, an excellent statement - i'm surprised that this didn't get you into Warwick or Bristol! I'm applying to both of those universities, which has certainly made me reconsider my personal statement...

I didn't read passed the word "learnt"... that's not the correct spelling.

This personal statement is amazing. At the moment im finding writting mine really difficult but yours reali helped thanxs :) sam xx

What did you actually get in your A levels? Because i'm predicted an AAB on my application, although i'm aiming for AAA, and i'm applying to nottingham and warwick as well so i'm a bit worried now!

hey guys.. you learn from others mistake.. i know and its quite obvious he is showing off a bit too muc in that p.statement.. but learn from it , and come on ..dont be so rude !! you should be thankful he is giving us the chance to improve on ours !!

hey guys.. you learn from others mistake.. i know and its quite obvious he is showing off a bit too muc in that p.statement.. but learn from it , and come on ..dont be so rude !! you should be thankful he is giving us the chance to improve on ours !!

arrogance is not an asset

I really like this personal statement, I think its really good. You showed alot of achievemnets and devotion to the subject. Good luck in the future!!

I would like to ask this person why he is discussing sumones private life(the murder trial) with many others on the net when he has no right what so ever.I am sure the first thing u need to think about when u have been put in such a position, as a human being is moral duties to another fellow human being and his or her right to privacy no matter how bad the crime is ,this does not mean u have to broadcast it(unless you have been given some authority to do so).Why discuss anyones elses personal life with no consideration.I am dissapointed if this is ur attitude towards law because its not about what makes something interesting but u are actually trying to make the society a better place and need to deal with other peoples lives and try and make them better for this society too.

I don't think it's right to use someone elses court case as an example.

In reference to the martial arts, It is definately possible to become a black belt in 10 years.
Both me and my sister have attained a black belt, myself at age 13 and my sister at age of 7, both having trained since the age of 3.
Good effort, you definately deserved more offers.

I think the statement is goo. But you can see why the top universities rejected you. I can sense that there is a fair amount of lying and over exaggeration in this such as the karate thing highlighted by a previous commenter. Fair play to being accepted though, all the best.

well done for getting offers from the other...shame bout the other ones...but dnt worri, as one door closes another opens
Good luck in da future :)

karate? you are trying to convince to whom it may concern and you talk about karate....