Pursuing a masters degree is a responsibility I owe to myself as well as a commitment I have to others. I refer to it as a responsibility because I have a proactive outlook on life, which makes me actively seek and go after the things that I want to accomplish in life. I refer to it as a commitment because I want to be an example to others of the...
Business Management Personal Statement Example 1
There is a rapid growth in global organisational concepts, crystallised in Japanese business philosophy, to be as effective as possible in the most efficient way.
New technology involving networking information and automation influences the behaviour of business and enables significant transformation. This need to maximise efficiency and effectiveness in such a competitive age is increasingly crucial to the success of a business. This is why it is an exciting and fascinating period in both the commercial and economic world to study Business Management.
Adaptability, creative thinking and the application of technology are now intrinsic to managing businesses. I have developed these principles and enjoyed the spectrum of sixth form study that has taught me to approach problems from different political, economical and psychological perspectives.
Throughout Business Studies, to complement what has been taught I have researched real-life business solutions and how they have been implemented, such as the responsive marketing used by Coca Cola to prolong their business cycle and sustain major profitability.
Studying ICT has enabled me to examine the criticality of technology in giving businesses a competitive edge by considering issues such as organisational objectives, people and legal implications rather than making decisions based solely on financial factors.
Furthermore, studying Psychology gives me insight into the human influences on organisational behaviour through studying motivational theories such as the hierarchy of needs model proposed by Maslow, whilst the coursework has developed my skills in collecting and analysing data in order to establish trends and draw conclusions. Studying English Language has allowed me to develop an ability to express my ideas clearly and concisely.
I have worked for * as a Tester, assisting in the development of *, the fastest-selling PC game ever. It was a significant learning experience and made me evaluate myself and better understand my strengths and skills, such as the ability to easily identify discrepancies and communicate these effectively to management so that problems can be solved.
Recent experience at * Ltd gave me a taste of working within a larger organisation. Operating within two different, but equally successful organisations has enabled me to see contrasting leadership styles and corporate culture.
Within college, I participated in a paired reading project where I listened to and assessed readers lower down the school which required a relaxed, patient and friendly approach with the younger students, as well as punctuality and dedication. Throughout the past year, I have represented the college in district basketball and rugby competitions.
I am a committed member of the Colts team at my local rugby side. I have captained the team in previous seasons which required leadership, confidence and diligence. In my spare time, I enjoy listening to a range of music, going to the gym and socialising. I am a regular reader of the Financial Times, enjoy keeping up with current affairs and business news.
I enjoy reading a variety of books, both fiction and non-fiction such as 'Making It Happen' (J. Harvey-Jones) where his common sense approach complements the management theories of more staid texts. This degree will equip me for my career in the unpredictable and fast moving world of commerce.
Profile info
This personal statement was written by Jw for application in 2004.
Jw's university choices
University of East Anglia
The University of Durham
Loughborough University
University of Southampton
The University of Warwick
Green: offer made
Red: no offer made
Degree
Management Studies at The University of Nottingham
Ratings
Statement rating:
Comments
You come across as very
Thu, 23/09/2004 - 00:00
You come across as very intelligent but by taking part of all of the extra curricular activities and work experience will the universities not query where you got the time to do it all without neglecting your studies?
hmmm this opening paragraph
Sun, 02/10/2005 - 00:00
hmmm this opening paragraph sounds like its been copied from an internet site.... its a bit too complicated isn't it?
its ok
Wed, 05/10/2005 - 00:00
but its quite boring to read. as there is nothing exciting bout it
Is this a personal statemant
Wed, 02/11/2005 - 00:00
Is this a personal statemant or a report?
does sound a bit like a
Thu, 03/11/2005 - 00:00
does sound a bit like a report.. but if it worked for nottingham!
feels like im reading a
Fri, 11/11/2005 - 00:00
feels like im reading a newspaper
Yeah not bad
Thu, 29/06/2006 - 00:00
Liken the way u used ur knowledge of business but u do not sound very successful and use nothing to bak this up
Comment
Mon, 03/07/2006 - 00:00
Twas an essay! Nothing like what ive bin taught but if it got u into Nottingham then koolio.
Very impressed! I suppose if
Tue, 01/08/2006 - 00:00
Very impressed! I suppose if I cud do as well as u, I need 27 hours a day and 35 days a month!
I like the personal statement
Thu, 10/08/2006 - 00:00
I like the personal statement it shows that you have researched your subject very effectively and that you know what your talking about
the whole statement is too
Mon, 04/09/2006 - 00:00
the whole statement is too complex and is extremely difficult to retain interest in. it didn't work for me.
unrealiistic
Sat, 23/09/2006 - 00:00
how could your write that, it looks like a lot of it especially the 1st paragraph has been copied from somewhere!
most of the people who comented are idiots
Mon, 25/09/2006 - 13:10
This was an excellent personal statement I enjoyed reading it. You seem very good at organising your thoughts, which is one of the reasons I envy you as I find it relatively difficult to do.
its too wordy and ur trying
Sat, 14/10/2006 - 12:36
its too wordy and ur trying to be all original in the beginning but it doesnt work
Simply the best!
Sat, 14/10/2006 - 23:50
this personal statement is simply the best as it sounds awesome ranging from business to your social life. no wonder u got accepted in 5 out of 6 places!!!!! well done. (Z)
To the guest comment two
Mon, 16/10/2006 - 11:50
To the guest comment two before this one about it being "too wordy".
Obviously you know nothing as this guy got accepted into 5 out of the 6 universities he applied to.
you worked for EA on The Sims
Thu, 26/10/2006 - 23:51
you worked for EA on The Sims? Or Microsoft on Halo 2?
its 2 good 2 b true,no one
Fri, 27/10/2006 - 20:38
its 2 good 2 b true,no one can b that intelligent at 17 or 18.when do u have any free time.
Too wordy
Wed, 01/11/2006 - 13:45
Its too wordy n it looks like this person has got alot of time but sounds its alright
it's a bit wordy but if it
Mon, 20/11/2006 - 14:06
it's a bit wordy but if it gets you into nottingtham lots of love clare morris west side!
i t is well written
Wed, 22/11/2006 - 02:35
sounds like you copied it
Thu, 30/11/2006 - 09:15
sounds like you copied it from a website and added 'I' to each sentance. Way too complicated and is too wordy if you know what i mean. As an examiner i would think your A) trying to hard and B) its very boring to read.
boring!!!
Mon, 12/03/2007 - 13:07
look how long it is i neva bothered reading it!!
it is not a very good
Tue, 27/03/2007 - 21:30
it is not a very good personal statement
will u write me a personal
Tue, 01/05/2007 - 10:45
will u write me a personal statement?
i think the paragrph is quite
Mon, 14/05/2007 - 11:40
i think the paragrph is quite bit complicated but its ok not bad good stuff
i understand it all now thank
Tue, 03/07/2007 - 10:23
i understand it all now thank you my friend thank you. :)
this personal statment is jus
Wed, 05/09/2007 - 14:07
this personal statment is jus so boring wat uni believe me i cant read it.
SAD
Tue, 11/09/2007 - 18:36
mate ... blatently copied and pasted. if not ... your sad as you have no free time and enjoy writing essay about the state of the economy. i know ... go down to the local stripper bar and get laid mate ... you need to
You have been successful in
Tue, 18/09/2007 - 13:04
You have been successful in writing a personal statement that reflects how much you love the subject and how intelligent you are, however a truly great statement is one that sets you above the others and makes you stand out.
just do it
Thu, 27/09/2007 - 22:57
excellent track record hope it does not change when you get there '' continue very good
man up mate! you sound like a
Fri, 28/09/2007 - 09:59
man up mate! you sound like a waste!
i luv it it got me a 1st on
Mon, 08/10/2007 - 22:45
i luv it it got me a 1st on my first year degree
omg
Tue, 09/10/2007 - 15:45
The words are too long its obvious u pasted it got accepted by the unis stated then my rubbish statement actually would get in to oxford to study rocket science. and omg! 4 stars? what are these ppl on? it deserves a 1 star.
Trying too hard to be something you're not
Wed, 24/10/2007 - 09:18
Well, as soon as i started reading this statement i must admit i had to re-read it again just to absorb what exactly it was that you were trying to say. It's dense and forgive me, but I have the strangest feeling that it's beyopnd you're usual vocabulary range. We're trying to sell ourselfs to the Universities not try and weigh them down with something you've obviously copied and pasted in parts.
Sorry but, you're trying way to hard to impress and you've lost yourself in the process.
nice
Wed, 24/10/2007 - 16:56
ur using very good english, which iz very gud bt can make it difficult to understand, n ur writing it out like a report the research u hv done on the japanese thing n everytin.. atleast its betta dan mynz, i nly gt 3 lines so far
structure of the personal statement
Sat, 27/10/2007 - 08:02
Your second paragraph within this personal statement comes out as the strongest point of your personal statement; you clearly state the point, provide evidence and then explain how you have personally gained from that experience or qualification. It was an awsome read!:)
dude, neva read it cus its
Tue, 30/10/2007 - 14:43
dude, neva read it cus its way too long!! soz
lol u guys dont be haters!
Tue, 06/11/2007 - 09:25
lol u guys dont be haters!
this is very good and helping me...;)
Congratulations! What ever
Thu, 08/11/2007 - 14:52
Congratulations! What ever you are doing it obviously worked! YEY!
If any one can help me start mine off, its for a pure business studies degree!! Got the context just not the opening sentence.
i think that this personal
Fri, 16/11/2007 - 15:29
i think that this personal statement is good, but also think that it has been exxadurated with all the words used, because its obvious the 'SYNONYMS' icon has been used in Microsoft Word as it will be VERRRYYY HARD for someone at that age to think of all these words.
must have copied from
Mon, 19/11/2007 - 10:21
must have copied from internet ......
A bit too flowery,boring and
Tue, 27/11/2007 - 18:11
A bit too flowery,boring and pretentious, but hey, if it gets you into Nottingham or Durham :D Well Done buddy.
intlectual and intresting !
Tue, 01/01/2008 - 20:13
I dnt undertsand why you ppl are not liking this, is it becos you cnt read it? this is what officers at uni want!
well its difficult to
Thu, 27/03/2008 - 12:57
well its difficult to understand, but it has avery good structure but i dont know wat is she saying
yoooooooo
Mon, 31/03/2008 - 15:52
common mike . u need to get a life right......
wat the fok was tht.....
Advice - others take note.
Thu, 10/04/2008 - 11:20
Are you a person or a robot?
It would seem that 5/6 universities are just begging for people with a high standard of basic English. They probably felt quite sick reading it but couldn't find a good enough reason to reject you. PLEASE do not be so smarmy in future; you really will not get away with it.
(Anon - admissions dept.)
T
Wed, 16/04/2008 - 14:21
the coments on this personal statement are the funniest ever lol.
it is truely creative and admirable but like someone rightly said it should be a report instead and not a personal statement. and boy have u considered why the 6th university did not take you? its definately worth thinking about.
well done all the same!!!
you seem to much like a know
Tue, 06/05/2008 - 00:00
you seem to much like a know it all your opeing paragraph is ridiculous thats not even got anything to do with you
really good structure :D
Thu, 12/06/2008 - 18:16
really good structure :D
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